Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny
by TPcrazy
Summary: When Vlad decides to annoy eveyones favorite halfa, and his friends for a year or 2. Better summary inside, read now! FUNNY!
1. Chapter 1

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**A/N: Oh sure anyone can do a guide to annoy Vlad. . . Review!**

"Hello, I'm Vlad Masters, and this is my guide to annoying Daniel and his friends." Vlad walked up to the Fentonworks door and knocked. Jack opened the door with 3 sugar cookies in his left hand.

"VLADDY, MY MAN!"

"Oh Jack, (fake cough) I'm so sick, (fake coguh) I would so appreciate it if I could stay at your house for, oh about a year. (fake cough)"

Jack gasped and slung Vlad over his shoulder. "Don't worry V-Man, Jack Fenton is on the case!" Jack stuffed 2 of the cookies in Vlad's mouth and threw him on the couch. "MADDIE, DANNY, JAZZ! VLAD'S STAYING AT OUR HOUSE!"

Danny, Sam, and Tucker who had planned to stay at Fentonworks all screamed. "WHAT? You can't, he can't. . ." Jazz ran down the stairs.

"As long as he doesn't try to hit on mom, I don't care." She slammed the door.

"I'm gonna leave you here alone, so I can work on my new invention!" Jack rushed down the stairs to the basement.

Vlad chuckled. "Then let the games begin."

**NANANANANANANANANANANANNANANAN PHANTOM! LINEBREAK OF TERROR! yES IT IS!**

1. Dress up just like him.

Vlad had mysteriously purchased a Danny Phantom costume from the store, and had changed into it in the closet.

"Hello Daniel." Vlad smiled at Danny, as he gawked.

"Vlad, is there a reason that you're dressed like that?"

"I thought I should take up the superhero life style, so I dressed up as you." Danny sighed and slammed the bedroom door.

2. sing the spiderman themesong really loud at night

It was like 3:00 am and everyones favorite halfa was asleep in his nice comfy bed. I'll have to fix that. Vlad walked in and crawled very close to Danny's ear. "3,2,1." He whispered to himself.

"SPIDER MAN! SPIDER MAN! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN! HE CAN CRAWL, ONA WAL-"

"WHAT THE CRAP??" Danny jumped out of his bed, and landed on top of Sam in her sleeping bag. Vlad snapped a photo.

3 hours later. .

Vlad snuck up on Sam, and lowered near her ear. "GOTHIC KID! GOTHIC KID! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER DID!"

"GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Sam screamed and nearly punched Vlad in the eye.

3. Call Danny a breakfast food as payback

Danny slowly made his way down to kitchen. He was not feeling well after the whole 'spider man' incident. He grunted when he saw Vlad so cheerful.

"Good morning poptart." Vlad grabbed some toast from the bag.

"What did you call me?" Danny questioned.

"Hola, Eggo."

"My Name is Danny!"

"If you say so Cookie Crisp."

"No! Dan-ny, can you say that fruitloop?"

"Bacon! I dub you bacon!"

"That's not my name! It's Cookie Crisp, I mean Eggo, no wait it's-" Danny pondered confused. Vlad ran off into the hall laughing hysterically.

4. Make him think he's dead

Vlad snuck into Danny's room, and checked the hit on youtube. 1 million hits for the whole Spider man thing. He chuckled again, and picked up a huge sack of flower, and hid it in a bucket. Daniel was going to get a huge surprise when hergot back to his room. About 5 minutes later, Danny flew in through his window and flopped down on his bed. Vlad wiated i the hallway. "3,2,1." Several screams could be heard, and Vlad burst into the room.

"GASP! DANIEL, YOU'RE FULL GHOST! YOU'L HAVE TO LIVE IN THE GHOST ZONE NOW!" Vlad stared at the now flower covered Danny, trying hard to stifel a laugh.

"No! WHY! WHY??" Danny started crying uncontrollably, as Vlad snapped another picture.

5. buy him stuff, then take it back

Vlad walked down the hall carrying 2 large bags full of videogames, puppies, and othe fun items. "DANIEL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"It's not my birthday." Danny glared.

"So? I bought you stuff." Danny stared wide eyed at the huge stash, and huged Vlad for all it's worth.

3 days later. . . .

Danny came out of his room expecting to have spot, (his new dog) jump out at him. But he was nowhere in sight. He also noticed that his new games were gone.

"Vlad, wheres my stuff?" He called from down the hall.

"I took it back." He smiled, while Danny sulked.

3 hours later. . .

"Danny, I ordered pizza!" Danny was still angry, but who could resist artery clogging bread with cheese? He raced down the stairs to Vlad. Vlad picked up a slice and ate it slowly. Danny reached for a slice, but Vlad pulled the box back.

"Come on, I want some!" Vlad grabbed another slice, then threw the box out of the open window. Vlad began to eat the second piece, but Danny jumped on top of him and started yelling.

"PIZZA! PIZZA MINE!!"

**a/n: poor danny, mwa ha ha! Reveiw. Was it funny?**


	2. Methods 6 through 10

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Annoy Methods 6-10**

**THIS IS THE SEQUAL TO CANTDECIDEONANAME'S GUIDE TO ANNOYING VLAD! WHICH I DO NOT OWN!!**

6. Bribe Dash and other male characters to kiss Danny

Vlad walked down the street whistling, and spinning in circles like the fruitloop he is. Dash and Kwan were across the street playing tag football in the park. That gave him an idea. He tapped one of them on the shoulder, and Dash spun around.

"Hey, you're that rich guy, give me some money!" Dash stuck his head out.

"I'll be happy to give you payment if you 2 will simply do a job for me. . ."

**Meanwhile. . . **

Danny was on youtube watching a video of HIMSELF? The title read 'Poptart scares easily'. Obviously of Vlad's doing. Suddenley he heard a crash down stairs.

"FENTURRRRRRDDDD!!" Dash was in the house? Probably after Jazz again. He walked into the hallway only to have Dash grab him and kiss him. Danny gave him a good kick in the place where the sun don't shine, and glared. Later on that day, atleast 3 more guys kissed him: Mikey, Kwan, and some nerd, what was his name? Lyle! Unknowing that Vlad was following him with a video camera.

Vlad downloaded another video to youtube: 'Gay Poptarts walk among us!'

7. Leave nothing in the house to eat but poptart flavored fruitloops

Danny dragged himself downstairs for another day of torture. He opened the refrigerater. "Huh?" He stared at several boxes. "Poptart flavored fruitloops?" He opened several other cabinets, nothing but this danged cereal, not even some milk! He sighed and opened a box, pouring some water in a bowl and scooping the cereal out with his hand. He took a spoonful and started chewing. Suddenley. .

"THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!" Vlad burst in with a news crew. Lance thunder looked shocked and stepped in front of the camera.

"This is Lance Thunder speaking, right now we're looking at a horrifying scene, a boy who drowned his children, and ate their bodies in a bowl!"

"WHAT??" Danny spit the cereal onto the floor.

"That's right America-" Vlad wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "This young poptart, kissed a fruitloop, and had kids, thus creating this cereal. And you drowned them in this water, and ate them with a spoon!" Vlad started crying.

"WHAt? That's not true, first of all, I'm not a poptart! Second, I never kissed a fruitloop!"

"Yes you did! Here's a picture of it!" Vlad held up a picture of Danny kissing Lyle.

"A sad story folks, why? Why would you be so cruel?"

8. Tape him eating Toaster Struedul

Danny sat in the kitchen squeezing icing onto one of those toaster thingies. "These are way better than poptarts." He said between bites. "I wonder why Vlad calls me that anyway. I hate poptarts!" Unknown to Danny, all of youtube was watching this scene. Vlad chuckled and watched the commments appear. .

_How could he? Betray poptarts like that!! I hate him- Fangirl103_

_That's sick! If he's a poptart and he hates poptarts, doesn't that mean he hates himself? He might commit suicide, serves himself right!- luvingal45_

_Why? why? The horror! And I love the poptart videos, keep up the good work- light of Shadow45_

_That monster! Doesn't he know how bad those things are for his arteries?- Veggiegoth666_

Vlad chuckled and clicked on his other video. 'Poptart eats Children'.

9. Convince Danny's parents that he's possesed

Vlad walked into the Fenton basement covered in fake blood, and scratches. He moaned. "Help, (wheeze), the boy is, he's, he's-" Vlad made a big fit and collapsed.

"Jack quick, something must be wrong with Danny!" They raced up the stairs to find Danny, who's face had been painted green while he slept.

"Oh no! He's been posessed by a demon! Call the excorcist!" Maddie shouted. Jack dialed the number, and almost instantly an excorcist appeared. (which was really one of Vlad's ghost birds in disguise.

"Hello, vi am doctor virdvain, vi am here to help ve boy." He studied Danny for a minute. "Vi have va cure!" He pulled out skunk and sprayed his entire body, causing Danny to wake up.

"WHAT THE ?"

"Vo no! It vis vorse than I thought! Take cover!" Everyone ran screaming out of the house.

10. Sneeze on Danny all day

Vlad walked over to Danny and smiled at him.

"It won't work this time Vlad, I just won't get aggravated." Danny took a deep breath.

Vlad leaned in and sneezed in Danny's face, drops of spittle landing on his cheek. This happened again, and again, and again, and again, and aga-

"GAHH! I GIVE UP, STOP SNEEZING!"

Vlad stayed silent for several minutes. "ACHOO!" He sneezed right in Danny's mouth and laughed for hours.

**a/n: Day 2 of otrture Danny. After the next chapter, Sam will be the victim. MWA HA HA! I still have that button. . .**


	3. Methods 11 through 15

**Ways 11 through 16**

11. Convince Danny that Sam and Tucker are dating

Danny lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Maybe if he concentrated, Vlad would dissapear.

"Danny come quick, you'll never believe the footage that I have!" Vlad ran inside without knocking.

"Go away Vlad."

"But Sam and Tucker are dating!"

"What!?" Danny jumped, and tripped off of the bed and ran down the stairs. "Sam please! I love you!" Danny grabbed her chin and started a fullout makeout session.

Suddenley Tucker entered the room.

"You freaking bastard! GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Danny jumped into the air and slammed Tucker into the floor.

Vlad laughed and walked out of the door.

12. Poke him all day

Vlad snuck into Danny's room. He was wearing nothing but his black pajamas, and some sneakers. Vlad continued to poke Danny until he woke up.

Poke Poke Poke Poke

Danny opened his eyes. "What do you-"

POKE POKE POKE

"Stop it!"

POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE

"I will pay you 5 dollars to go away."

Vlad stopped and Danny fell back asleep.

'POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE POKE- SMACK!!

Vlad had taken a giant hand (which magically appeared) and smacked Danny with it.

13. Give him the talk whenever Sam walks into the room

"Danny, your father asked me to give you the talk."

"What?"

"When a man and woman really love each other-"

_5 minutes later_

"And I know that you're having strange thoughts about Sam and-"

_5 more minures later_

"And so-blah blah blah blah blah-"

Danny turned around, Sam had been standing behind him the whole time.

_3 hours later in the kitchen_

"And so you use-"

Sam walked in, and glared at Danny.

"Wait Sam! It's not what you think!"

14. Spit coffee on him.

"Hey Vlad I-"

Vlad held a huge cup of very hot coffee. "What??" He took a sip then spit it in Danny's face.

"Eew, stop that!"

He took a long sip then spit it on Danny's shirt.

"But!"

SSSSSPPPPPPIIIIITT!

"You"

SSSSSPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIITTTTT!!

3 hours later, Vlad had run out of coffee. "Drat! The fairly odd parents show was right!"

15. Convince him that it's christmas

"Danny wake up! It's a christmas miracle!" Tucker squealed.

"Christmas? It's christmas? I forgot to go christmas shopping!"

3 hours later. Danny had on a redsweatshirt even though it was 95 degrees outside. He was carrying a huge bag of stuff.

"Merry Christmas, ho ho ho!"

Everyone in the house turned their heads.

"It's the middle of July!" Maddie shouted.

"It is- but Tucker, and he-but-"

"Grounded!!"

Danny stared at the wall, and continuously banged his head.

**A/N: Need more ideas! Review, or face my adorable face. . (does puppy dog pout)**


	4. HIATUS ALERT

** HIATUS ALERT!!**

**I wanted to notify some of you that I won't be updating for a while because I'm focusing on learning the different kinesises.**

**Crykinesis**

**Hydrokinesis**

**Telikinesis**

**Pyrokinesis**

**Aerokinesis**

**I've had the most success with Pyrokinesis and telikinesis. I AM NOT GIVING UP DP! I just realize that I could have powers of my own. I mean why watse time with this when I could have powers similar to Danny's? I will however return in about a month. NOT QUITING! Just taking a break.**

**Sincerely, TPcrazy**


	5. Mehtods 16 through 20

**Vlad's guide to Annoying Danny**

**Methods 16-20**

**A/N: I'm back people! Woo hoo!**

16. Secretly set him up on a date

Vlad sat on his guest bed with his labtop in his lap. He was on a particualar website looking for the ugliest girls he could find. www . freedates . com. He clicked on a girl named Shelly. She had black hair cut to her scalp, a mustache, acne, and she looked to way over 200 pounds. He typed up Danny's description and sent her an e-mail. If this didn't annoy Danny, nothing would.

Later that Day. . .

Danny and Sam were snuggled up on the couch. Someone knocked on the door. "I'l get it." Danny got up from the cozy scenery and opened the door. Just about the ugliest girl he'd ever seen waddled inside, or atleast tried to. She couldn't really fit through the door.

"I'm ready for our date sugarlips!" She tried to kiss him, but couldn't reach that far due to her not being able to get in.

"Date, I don't have a date with you, I don't even know you!?"

She wrinkled her unibrow. "Here's the e-mail you sent me."

_Dear Shelly,_

_You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. I'm just lucky that no young boy has gotten the pleasure to be your boyfriend. I would be honored if you'd go out with me, _

_Love, xoxoxoxox, Danny Fenton._

Danny gulped and stared at the paper for what seemed an eternity. "Look Shelly, I'm sorry but, I have a girlfriend, and obviously this was a setup. I mean, why would I want to go out with you, I don't know you!"

Shelly glared at the gothic and wellshaped figure on the couch. Sam stared back at her with disgust. Shelly pulled her fist back and swung as hard as she could, which was VERY hard. Danny got hit directlt in the nose, and blood spewed onto the carpet. Shelly proceeded to slam the door directly at his face.

Vlad whhistled down the stairs. "So Daniel, did you enjoy your date?"

17. Sing very loudly and badly at a really good song

Vlad watched a few videos on youtube, this gave him an idea.

Danny was sitting on the couch watching tv with a a huge bandage on his nose, and a gauze on his left eye. He stared at Vlad and tried to hobble away.

"I LOOK AROND ME! AND ALL I SEEM TO SEE, IS PEOPLE GOIN NOWHERE, EXPECTIN SYMPATHY! IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF A SCRIPTED DESTINY! BUT WHERE'S THE INSPIRATION? I'LL FIND ONE WAY, I GUESS IT'S UP TO ME! WHOAH! NO I'M NOT GONNA WASTE ANOTHER MOMENT IN THIS TOWN! WHOAH!-"

Now I know this wouldn't be to annoying, but he was singing VERY off key. And Danny's ears already burned.

"WE WON'T GO BACK THE WORLD IS CALLIN OUT! WHOAH!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Danny jumped through the kitchen window.

18. Tell Danny 'I love you' (suggested by hollagirl)

Danny walked through the hallway to the closet, His plan was to stay in there and have Sam slip food in every 2 days. Vlad suddenley appeared behind him.

"Danny, there's something I've wanted to admit for a long time, I love you."

Dannny lept walking.

"I love you."

Danny walked inside of the closet and locked the door. Vlad was going to have to find a different way to use this method. . . Vlad taped a tape recorder to the closet door. He then dressed in a pink shirt that says V x D with hearts around it.

Inside the closet. . .

"I love you, you love me, lets get together and have a family!" This song repeated over, and over, and over, and over, and- you get the idea. But there was one thing Danny hadn't planned on. He had to go to the bathroom. He quietly slipped up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He turned around to pee and-

"I've been waiting Daniel! MWA HA HA HA! I love you, you love me-"

19. Threaten him with the button of doom! (suggested by hollagirl)

Vlad snored on his bed, a thin line of drool dripping down on his chin.

In his dream. . .

_Vlad was in a field of Lily's with Maddie at his side. "Oh Maddie, I love you-" Suddenley te scene vanished and he was transported into a room. The room had black walla, and a black bed with purple and blue everywhere. A computer was on a desk. A girl with brown hair and brown eyes stepped out of the shadows. She wore a black t-shirt, and dark jeans with black converses. She held a red button in her hand._

_"Use the button Vlad, use it." She shoved him inside of her computer._

"HA WHAT!?" Vlad woke up startled and realized that he really did have a button in his hand. It said BOD. He rubbed his neck, but slowly made his way to the kitchen. Danny, Sam, and Tucler were eating waffles at the table.

"Morning fruitloop." Sam said between bites of syrup.

Vlad pressed the button and a bucket of rotten spagetti appeared out of nowhere, and dropped on Danny's head.

"Eew, gross!" Danny ran to go take a shower.

In the middle of the shower. . .

Vlad walked into the bathroom and pressed the button of doom. Suddenley Valerie appeared inside the shower.

"What the?" Danny screamed as Valerie gave him an 'I'm gonna kill you' glare.

Later at dinner. . .

Danny, now covered in scratches bruises, and burns, reached for the A-1 steak sauce. Vlad pressed the BOD under the table. Suddenley the steak sauce spilled all over his shirt, and a pack of wild dogs chased him out of the door. The button knows everything!

"Yeah buttons!" Vlad shouted and continuosly pressed the button.

20. Announce Poptart Day (suggested by Luiz4200)

Danny woke up, and hopped to the window. He now had broken leg, and a broken wrist because of Vlad. He looked out into the sunny day, the birds singing, people dressed like poptarts. Wait what?? He looked again. Vlad was handing out shirts that said 'hug a poptart'. And people were eating poptarts too. Suddenley his door burst open, and a complete stranger gave him a hug.

"Happy poptart day!" He handed Danny a milkshake poptart. (new flavor!) Danny shrugged, and bit off a piece of the poptart. He hopped back to bed. Maybe poptart day won't be so bad.

3 hours later. . .

Danny woke up again. He looked around, he obviously wasn't in his house, his whole bed had been carried outside! Vlad spoke to a group of people wearing ceremonial clothing.

"Now it is time to sacrifice the poptart to the giant!" Danny swallowed hard. Giant? Danny turned aroun and stared in disbelief. A giant poptart monster had risen behind him. It's hot breat creating perspiration in his back.

"Oh crud." That was all Danny said before he died. . .

Ok not really, he came out eventually. You might not wanna think about it too hard though. .

**A/N: Done! Any more suggestions? I'll alwyas accept suggestions. Review or face my LOD! (Lever of doom)**


	6. Methods 21 through 25

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Method's 21-25**

**A/N: Hmm, I've been starting kinesises again lately, and success! I could knock a glass off of the table from across the room. No seriously! Cough, random, sorry.**

21. Act like a story book author

"Folks, today we will be visiting the life of a boy name Daniel, you see he has a very interesting life, a very linteresting life indeed." Vlad said into a microphone.

Danny was asleep in his room, the covers pulled up over him tightly.

"Little Danny age 14, was having a rather peculiar dream, chocolate raindeer, and a pretty girl, not a care in the-"

"Vlad! What are you? How, stop that!"

"Danny shouted, he was angry, no doubt about it." Vlad placed a Dr. Suess hat on his head.

"Why are you rhyming?"

"I'm rhyming to simply annoy you my boy, so come on along and fall into my ploy." Vlad began to bounce up and down, while strange music played in the background.

"Oh I give up!"

"Danny placed a pillow over his head, unaware that he'd soon wake up dead, yes dead, and I really do mean what I said, yes said, I really do mean what I said." Vlad continued to bounce.

"WHAT? GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Danny screamed and ran out of the room.

22. Talk in pig latin

Eventually the insane author decided to add Jazz, Tucker, and Sam to the torture Danny team, so. . .

Sam rang th doorbell to Danny's house and walked in. Danny sighed. "Hi Sam, I am so glad you came, I was wondering if you would let me stay at your house until Vlad leaves-"

"Pon pouy pdioti, pouy pan'tc ptays pta pym pouseh!"

Danny stared. "What? Are you speaking German or something?"

"Paybem pfi pouy pern'tw pos punf pot pnnoya, pew pouldn'tw paveh piveng pin, pnda pookt phet poneym."

"Wait, you're in on this aren't you, I know you are!" Danny kicked Sam in the knee and ran into the kitchen.

"Pih, Pannyd, pavingh pirlg proublest?"

"You know what, I'm not going to even listen to you." Danny grabbed a sandwich and walked outside to sit on the porch.

"Pannyd! Phostsg prea pttackinga phet pallm!" Tucker panted from down the street.

"What?"

"POG PHOSTG PNDA PAVES PHOSET PEOPLEP!" Tucker screamed.

"POUY PAVEH POT PAVES PHET, PHO PORGETF PTI!"

23. Lick him repeatedly (the following suggested by: Insane Guy of Doom!)

Danny sat at the dinner table in hs house, in the following order: Sam, Danny, Jazz, Tucker, Vlad, Mrs.Fenton, and Mr.Fenton.

"Well, dinner's over, who wants desert?" Maddie asked.

"Ooh, I do!" Sam screeched. She then proceeded to lick Danny's face.

"Uh, Sam?" Danny started.

"You taste like poptarts." She licked him again, but this time on his arm. "Cinnamon flavor!" She chomped down on his arm.

"Hey, save some for me!" Tucker shouted and licked Danny's face.

"No, he's my boyfriend, I should get to eat him!" Sam shouted and bit Danny's ear.

"Ow! Stop, are you all really going to resort to cannibalism?!" Danny shouted.

"No."

Lick

Lick

Lick

Lick

CHOMP!

"Stop it!"

Lick

Lick SUCK!

CHOMP!

"You taste like poptarts." Sam laughed.

24. Make Danny Racist to Sandbags (suggested by Insane Guy of Doom)

"Daniel, I wanted to apologize for my behavior the past few weeks, so as a present I got you this sandbag." Vlad smiled, but innocently.

"What am I supposed to do with a sandbag?" Danny frowned.

"Puch it, kick it, beat the stuffing out of it!" Vlad nodded, and walked out of the room.

Danny began to punch the sandbag, each punch being for a different method to annoy him that he'd had to endure this week. Unbenounced to him, a polaroid camera had been taped to a wall.

"Click, swoosh." Out came a picture, but Danny kept punching

The next day. . . Maddie Fenton stormed into Danny's room.

"Daniel James Fenton! Explain this, haven't I told you to treat others fairly?"

_The Amity Park Times_

_Danny Fenton racist to sandbags! Local citizen Vladimir Masters claims that this young boy brutally beat an innocen sandbag-_

Danny slapped his forehead and went back to sleep.

Meanwhile with Vlad. . . Vlad held a labtop in his lap, he clicked on his newest video: Racist boy

_How dare he? America loves sandbags!- mystery person guy_

_Are you people all insane? It's a freaking sandbag! You're all twisted.- Girl of chocolatecream_

_Yeah, but he's still racist! -Poptartindegestion_

Vlad frowned, someone out there had common sense. Girl of chocolatecream was going down.

25. Destroy his country

Vlad dressed in a blue bathrobe and bunny slippers popped 2 poptarts into the toaster, he did this over and over and over again.

"Hey Vlad, what's with all the poptarts?" Tucker asked.

"Well, here's the plan. . .(insert creepy whisper)."

Danny walked into the house and tossed his jacket on the couch. Sniff. He smelled something sweet. He walked into the kitchen to find Tucker, Sam, and Vlad stuffing their faces with assorted flavors of poptarts.

"AHA! WE'VE DESTROYED YOUR ARMY, YOUR FORCES HAVE BEEN WEAKENED!" Tucker shouted, his voice muffled from the lack of space.

Sam swallowed. "You shall soon be defeated!" She picked up two blueberry and stuffed them in her mouth.

"What are you guys doing??" Danny narrowed his eyes.

"Destroying your country, poptart land, once we finish here, you'll be weak enough to be attacked!" Vlad stuffed the last 3 poptarts in his mouth.

"Now, get him!" Sam shouted.

"GAH!!" Danny screamed as all 3 of them dogpiled him.

**A/N: Woo! Long chapter.**

**Thanks to: TexasDreamer101, Jessi Phantom, Jessica01, Luiz4200, and Kooky Krazy Kat for reviewing!**

**Special thanks to: Insane guy of Doom and Hawky Phantom for their ideas!**

**To Hawky Phantom: I'll be sure to use that in the next chap, ok?**

**To Insane Guy of Doom: I loved your ideas, and I hope I did them nicely.**

**Bye Bye.**


	7. Methods 26 through 30

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Method's 26-30**

26. Do absolutely nothing to him (suggested by Garnet Sky)

Danny lay in bed with the blue sheet pulled tightly around his neck. His eyes pivoted back and forth across the room. There was no way Vlad was going to get him this time, he'd just stay in bed and do nothing all day. Unless. . .Vlad had boobe trapped the bed! Danny jumped from the bed and landed back first onto the floor. The bed _wasn't_ boobe trapped after all. . .hmm. Danny's eyes fluttered open wide. The floor! It could have some kind of rope for him to trip over, or a trap door! He quickly and nervously jumped over several spaces on the floor and turned the knob. Nothing, no bucket of honey to fall on his head. Danny narrowed his eyes, something was up. He walked slowly down the stairs and sat down at the table. Maddie and Tucker were having pancakes and eggs.

"Morning Danny." with a cheery smile. Danny stared at her and then at the pancakes siting on a plate for him.

"Great pancakes mom." Danny shoved a big syrupy glob in his mouth.

"Oh I didn't make them dear, Vlad did." Maddie continued to fork small bites into her mouth.

"WHAT? SPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW! BLECH!" Danny spit a huge mass of chewed pancake and syrup onto the floor.

"Danny!" Maddie glared. "Clean that up!"

Danny gulped and stared at the mop. Was it just him or did the handle look set to poke him in the eye? And that spray cleaner looked pretty suspicious to him. . .And Mom and Tucker, they could be robots!

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Danny screamed and grabbed his head.

27. Tell everyone that HE'S that ninja poptart(suggested by Hawky Phantom)

Sam dressed in all black and a ski mask held up a walkie talkie. "Goth 1 to fruitloop 1, over." Sam stood by Danny's room.

"Fruitloop 1 to Goth 1, do you have the ninja costume, over." Vlad said from inside the guest bedroom.

"Yes, I do. I'm going to sneak into Danny's room and dress him while he's sleeping, over."

Sam slipped into Danny's room undetected. It was a good thing Danny slept in boxers and a t-shirt otherwise this would be MUCH harder.

5 hours later. . .

Danny smacked his lips trying to get rid of the bad taste. After yesterday, maybe Vlad really _wouldn't_ do anything to him today. He slipped out of bed and walked down the stairs, he was surprised to find a crowd of people downstairs.

"SEE! He's the ninja poptart from TV!" Vlad pointed at him and unmasked him. Everyone gasped.

"Wait so he's a poptart? GET HIM!" A little girl screamed and the crowd chased after him.

28. Switch everyone's names up (Insane Guy of Doom)

"Hi Sam." Sam stood next to Danny and twirled her hair playfully.

"What? Sam have you lost your mind?" Danny glared.

"Oh hi Tucker!" Tucker walked in the room.

"Hey Tuck."

"I wasn't talking to me! I was talking to Tucker!" Tucker pointed at Sam.

"What? Wait, I'm confused. So Danny is-"

"What?" Tucker asked.

"Garrgh!" Danny grumbled and stared at the floor.

"Oh hi Thurtson." Tucker said to Vlad.

"Hello Daniel, Samantha, Tuckard." Vlad said out of order.

"What is up with you Vlad? What's wrong with you people??" Danny shrieked.

"Who is this Vlad person you speak of?" Vlad rubbed his chin while Danny smacked his forehead and stared up at the ceiling.

29. Put Danny on the wrong TV show

"It seems today, that all ya see, is violence and movies and crap on tv!"

"But where are those good old fashion values, on which we used to rely!!" Peter and Louis continued singing.

Meanwhile, Danny slep peacefully upstairs, un aware that he was in the wrong house. (theme-song ends)

"So Peter how was work today?" Lois asked.

"Well it was-" Suddenly Danny walked downstairs to find a fat guy, an ugly girl, a fat boy and a baby eating breakfast.

"Who are you? Meg asked.

"I don't care who he is, but he's on his way to hell!" Stewie pulled out a machine gun and started firing.

"Gah!! Help me!!" Danny screamed and body slammed into the tv screen.

Back in Amity Park. . .

"Ahhh, don't you just love quality TV?" Vlad laughed along with the rest of Danny's friends.

30. Fill Danny's pants with cake mix (Insane Guy of Doom)

Danny ended up limping home after that little episode. He reluctantly opened the front door and slipped inside to sit on the couch. Why did everything happen to him? Vlad started whistling and walked into the room with a huge round bowl.

Danny stared and waited for whatever was coming to him.

Vlad picked Danny up with one hand and dumped the cake batter into Danny pants, and then dropped Danny on the floor.

Sam danced down the stairs with her ipod nano in her hand. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHU-" Sam stopped and stared at the cake mix. It was GUMMY BAT flavor. She walked over to Danny and dug u in his pants for globs of cake batter, licking her fingers and going off to get a spoon.

Danny sighed and went to change pants.

**A/N: Why must everyone torture Danny?**


	8. Methods 31 through 35

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Methods 31-36**

**Friend pretending to be me: Hello my peoples, and welcome to the next addition of-**

**Me: What the heck? Get off my stage!**

**FPTBM: Come make me! --insert actiony battle scene--**

**Me: Ok NOW welcome to the next chapter of my ways to torture Danny!**

**Danny: Why do you hate me so much?**

**Me...**

**--**

31. Have Vlad stare at Danny and then sigh (suggested by He who Hides in Plain Sight)

Danny tiptoed into his house in his new clothes. A plain blue t-shirt, black jeans, and plain white all-star sneakers. He had pretended to need new clothes as an excuse to get out of the house. Sam and Tucker were in it with Vlad. Crap! Vlad was sitting on the couch watching tv. Danny walked into the kitchen and poured himself some juice. He sat down and sipped the drink quietly. He felt two eyes bore into him, he turned around face to face with Vlad. . .Vlad just sat down in a chair and stared at him.

"Sigh."

Danny ignored him and kept sipping.

"Sigh." This time Vlad put his hand on his cheek and lowered his eyelids. (who else is getting sick reading this?)

Danny began to get nervous. If this was an anime, a sweat drop would fall from the side of his forehead.

"Sigh, sigh." Vlad batted his eyes lashes.

"Vlad, come on! This isn't funny!"

"What do you mean Daniel? Sigh."

"GGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Danny's screams could be heard in the background.

32. Convince Danny that Sam is pregnant (suggested by Insane Guy of Doom)

Little Red Riding hood swung her picnic basket and skipped all the way to grandma's house carrying many good things to eat. Eggs, and pie, and milk and other great things her grandma would enjoy together. She crossed the river and walked past the giant oak tree to the little brown cottage in which her grandmother lived. Inside was Timmy Turner. He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down, and Spongebob and Patrick flew into the skies on magical bicycles off to fight the- Wait a minute, this isn't my story! --turns page-- Ah, here we are. . .

Sam carried a small plastic pregnancy test which had been painted to look like she was pregnant. She hummed to herself and picked up the pace. She really didn't like to torture Danny like this, but it was so much fun! Sam knocked on the Fenton door and slipped inside next to Vlad on the couch.

"You know the drill right?" Vlad whispered.

"Right." Sam began to cry and cry, until she was a little hysterical. Those acting lessons had paid off big time.

Vlad ran up the stairs and opened Danny's door dramatically. "How could you!"

"What?" Danny was in the middle of e-mailing a hotel.

"Sam is pregnant you idiot! How could you! I thought your parents had taught you better, well maybe not Jack, that bumbling buffoon-"

"Wait a minute. How did Sam get pregnant? We never- she's cheating on me!" Danny ran down the stairs and attacked Sam. But since I feel like it, we'll skip past the fighting scene, and cut to this picture of a koala bear eating leaves. --shows picture for 5 minutes-- Ok we're back to-holy crud. Cut! Cut to commercial!! I SAID CUT!! DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN STARE AT ME??

33. Have everyone wear their underwear on the outside (suggested by Insane Guy of Doom)

Ok now we're back from our little intermission. . .

"Danny guess what?" Tucker giggled.

"What?"

"You look stupid." Tucker had his green boxers on top of his pants today.

Danny stared and turned away. Sam and Vlad stood behind him.

"Danny, you're embarrassing me!" Sam had on a black bra and panties on top of her usual black skirt and purple top. Vlad had on boxers with money symbols everywhere.

"I'm embarrassing you? You guys have your UNDERWEAR over your freaking clothes!"

"Wearing your underwear under your clothes was s 3 seconds ago, get with the times Danny! Geesh."

"Yeah, obviously someone hasn't read today's fashion magazine." Tucker smiled and everyone laughed.

"OH MY GOD!!" --Danny runs of screaming-- Everyone laughed harder.

34. Laugh at everything he says

"Hey Sam, look I-"

"Giggle."

"Sam-"

"Giggle."

"SAM!"

"Giggle."

--Silence--

"Giggle, giggle, giggle, laugh."

"Samlistentom-"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ugh."

"Giggle."

35. Sing loudly while he's trying to read

"nananananananananana."

That sound, what the heck was that sound? He ignored it and went back to his reading.

"NANANANANANANANANAN BATMAN NANANANANANANANANANANAN BATMAN!" Sam sang from the next room.

"Sam can you please SHUT UP??"

"I CAAAAAAAN'T! I'M SSSIIIII-NNNGGIIIINGGGGGGG!! NANANANANNANANANANANAN!! BATMAN BATMAN!! NNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAANNNNNNAA!!."

The poor wall never stood a chance and passed on to that great mansio in the sky.

"Oink oink, MOO." (a pig and cow came in randomly)

**A/N: Done. My best chapter yet. Thankyou all of my reviewers for um, reviewing! REVIEW! Or face my pig of doom.**

**"Oink."**


	9. Methods 36 through 40

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Methods 36-40**

**(icarly entrance) A/N: Hello !**

**BF: Hola!**

**A/N: Dirkinsnoff!**

**BF: Dirkinsnoff?**

**A/N: It means good evening!**

**BF: In what langauge?**

**A,N: Foreignese! DIRKINSNOOOFF!!**

**--Disclaimer-- I don't own DP? Since when have I ever owned DP? I do however own this peanut butter sandwich. --munch--**

36. Give Danny a peanutbutter sandwhich with super glue (suggested by Insane Guy of Doom)

Sam groaned. Her arm was broken, she had sprained her ankle, she had several bruises and to top it all off, her head hurt, BADLY. But she was getting paid for this after all, so she picked up the peanut butter sandwich and milk and set it near Danny's bed. Most people don't know this, but Danny has a secret addiction to peanutbutter. Yeah, I'm shocked too. Danny walked in and his eyes widened.

"Peanutbutter!" Danny shoved the entire sandwhich in his mouth in one bite and smiled.

"OMG! DANNY, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T EAT THAT SANDWICH!" Vlad screamed.

"Yms." Danny backtracked that sentence. "Vm! M camtg tmhmm!" He couldn't open his mouth all the way. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!"

"Quick! Drink something to melt the glue!"

Danny poured the glass of milk on his face. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMHMMMMHH!!"

"Oh wait I forgot, that was expired milk." Vlad smiled.

"Mmhmhmhmhmmm."

"Here use this!" Vlad handed him a bottle of hot sauce.

"MMMMMMHHHHHMM HNNNNNGGGGGGGMM!"

"Oh wait. . ."

37. Redecorate his room so that it's pop-tart themed (suggested by Insane guy of Doom)

Jazz smirked and stepped back to admire her work. Danny was so gonna freak out when he saw this. She had painted the walls sky blue, with different flavor pop tarts painted in different places. Boxes of pop tarts hung from the ceiling. And Danny's bed now said 'pop tart king'. Genius. Jazz heard footsteps and hid in the closet.

Step step step. "OH MY GOD! VVLLLLLAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!"

"What?" Vlad stood in the doorway with a robe on and clutching a Maddie plushie.

"What did you do?!"

"I didn't do anything! I am trying to go to sleep!" Vlad growled and walked back to the guest room.

"..."

38. Flush the toilet while Danny's watching TV (suggested by Garnet Sky)

Danny rolled off of the couch and onto the floor. He had slept in the living room that night to avoid the whole 'pop tart theme' someone had added to his room. He sighed and clicked on the tv. The DP theme-song played. He had his own cartoon? Weird. . .Danny sat up straight and watched the episode called 'Million Dollar Ghost'.

"Flush." Someone obviously had just used the bathroom. Danny ignored it.

"Flush, flush, cough." This was starting to get annoying.

"FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH FLUSH."

"OK, no one has to use the bathroom that mu-"

"FLUSH."

"Cluck."

"O.o"

"FLUSH!!" Suddenly the piped burst and flooded the house.

"Crunch."

"GAH!!"

39. Tell him that it's alright

"Danny."

"What Vlad? Can't you see I'm trying to ignore you?"

"I just wanted to tell you that, well um. . ."

"Well what?"

Vlad sighed and put a reassuring smile on his face. "It's alright that you and Sam broke up."

"..."

"..."

"SAM AND I BROKE UP??"

I bet you want me to tell you what happened right? Well let's just say that a certain goth girl ended up in a half Nelson and had to be escorted to the hospital, with Danny still on top of her. But unfortunately the set was destroyed during this incident, so. . .

"PLEASE STAND BY FOR THE NEXT METHOD TO ANNOY DANNY. THE SHOW WILL RETURN SHORTLY. NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO GET SOME FREE NACHOS."

40. Have Tucker constantly make out with the Sam robot

( ) ( ) (' .' ) (") (")

"Um anyways. . ." Tucker said ignoring the evil cookie holding bunny rabbit. Tucker dragged the Sam robot to the living room and sat her on the couch next to Danny. He just stared at it.

"Tuck, what are you doing?" Danny asked.

"Uh, I'm supposed to be annoying you by making out with this robot."

Me: O.O! "You just ruined my scene. . ."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, oh magical talking ceiling!"

Me: "I will now destroy you!!"

"Danny, the ceiling is hurting me!"

"..."

"Oh. . .I'm sorry folks, this wasn't supposed to happen. Just uh, cut to the next episode of The Fairly Odd Parents, and I promise that the next chapter will be running in top order." Vlad smiled and clicked the remote.

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME PUNK?" --attacks Tucker--

**A/N: --pants-- I'm terribly sorry about that. But Tucker TOTALLY messed up method 40. I knew I should've gotten Jazz to do this. . .Anyway, review.**

**Flames will be used to melt Tucker's face off. So I suggest you don't do that.**


	10. Methods 41 through 45

**Vlad's Guide to Annoying Danny**

**Methods 41- 45**

**Plushie me: I wuv you all!**

**Me: ...**

41. Auction him off at one of those lonely women clubs(suggested by ghostanimal)

"Ok everybody I know you're all excited to get a man today." A woman was cutoff by the cheers of a bunch of other women in the background.

"And I'll be glad to show you the lucky bachelors! Unfortunately I myself am not one of them." Vlad said from behind the red headed woman who was running the show.

"How'd you get-" The red head started, but Vlad slipped her a 50 dollar bill, and she trotted off.

"Our first bachelor is the age of 32. Please meet Mr. Daniel Fenton!" The bronze curtains opened up and Danny stood in a black suit and red tie.

"Wait, I thought you said I was going on some gameshow!" Danny backed up against the wall.

"200 dollars!"

"275!"

"Wait! I'm only 14! I'm not really a bachelor, I even have a girlfriend!" Danny screamed.

"Oh. . .boo! Boo!" Several women had scowls on their faces. And as we all know, a single woman at a bachelor auction is a scary thing. . .especially when they're holding scalpels, and pitchforks, and HOLY CRAP is that a chainsaw? Who gave her a chainsaw?

"Oh..my..crud..." Danny whimpered.

42. Narrate his life for him

"Young Daniel Fenton was just 14, when his parents built a very strange machine, it was designed to view a-" Vlad stopped talking as Danny stretched and got out of bed.

"Vlad why are you in my room?"

"Danny had just gotten out of bed and was wearing only some red boxers and a t-shirt. He glared at some kind of imaginary force." Vlad said into a microphone.

"That mike isn't even plugged in!"

"Danny continued to scream at this imaginary force, let's call him 'Vlad' if you will."

"Ugh."

"Danny groaned and dressed himself inside of his closet. When he came out he was wearing his usual attire. A black and red t-shirt with a strange symbol in the middle. Dark jeans, and red and black sneakers. Left foot, right foot, left foot right foot, left foot, right foot. Danny stopped."

"VLAD!"

"He spoke to the imaginary force again. Then stayed silent, I wonder what-"

Danny grabbed the microphone and snapped it in two equal pieces.

43. Act like you're an explorer or something

Vlad crept up beside Danny on the couch dressed in a safari outfit. He looked like an evil version of the crocodile hunter.

"The hunter watches his prey. A black and white gorilla. Gorillas are known for being extremely shy. And the we have here, I call Danny."

Danny rolled his eyes grabbed the remote.

"He seems to be picking up some kind of device and clicking on it. He might be trying to tell me something. Let's get a closer look shall we?" Vlad made the camera zoom in.

Danny glared and started walking towards Vlad.

"He's trying to make physical contact with me, a human being. He's getting closer, closer-" SMASH. Danny busted Vlad's camera lense, which now had 3 huge cracks in it.

"Hmm, he's getting agressive, I'd better use this special sleep dart I bought!" Vlad took out a giant needle and stuck Danny in the arm. Danny fell onto the floor with a thud.

"Vlad, what are you doing?" Sam walked in.

"The gorilla's mate is angered, she charges for the camer-A!"

"BBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP."

Silence.

44. Say random things

"Peanut farts." Tucker said.

"..."

"Walmart pancakes."

"Tucker, is it time to see your therapist again?"

"Poptart poop."

"O.o"

"lalalalalalallalalLALALALALALALALALALA."

"Tuck! You know what, I'm just going to ignore you. Ha!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, I'm killing you!"

"..."

"Bite them your way! (chomp) I'm a vampire!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" (the screaming would've gone on for 4 more pages so, lets' skip to the next method.)

45. Fart while kissing Danny (from 'Superhero Movie')

"Hi Dan-(fart)." Sam walked in and sat next to Danny.

"Sam did you just-"

"(fart) (faaaaaart)"

"..." Danny scooted away.

Sam leaned in for a kiss. Danny was reluctant at first, but then the two of them were engaged in your average DxS kiss scene. "(fart) (farty fart fart)"

"o.o"

"(FAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT)" In fact, Sam's fart was so big that the paint started to peel off and Danny's eyes started to water.

Danny got up and walked to the door. . .the door was locked.

"(FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRT) (fart) (fart fart fart fart fart fart)" The entire room now smelled like, like. . .duh?

"Sam!"

"Am I bother-(fart fart)ing you?" Sam smiled.

"Stop it! It's disgusting! Girls aren't supposed to-"

"(fart) (alphabet fart)" Yep, Sam farted the alphabets. :p

Danny sighed. "(choke choke) I'm choking on your farts-"

"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRT) (fart fart fart)

"(choke) Sa-"

"(fart)"

And that's how Danny died- death by farts. But since this story would be over, I'm going to bring him back to life. XD

Suddenley Danny's lifeless body was lifted off of the ground in a blue light. "(gasp) I'm alive!"

**A/N: Yep, superhero movie. It was hilarious! Review. And give suggestions if you can.**

**To everyone who ever reviewed. . .**

**Plushie me: I want to give wu all a hug!**


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